Dear Ms Everdeen,
Actually, we’ve been through a lot together, three books, is it ok if I call you Katniss? Too bad I just did. I’m writing to you because I think we need to have a chat. You are fictional, so I know you won’t respond, but after reading your adventures I wanted to say a few things. First, as a hero, you really let me down. You had your moments where I thought, wow, baring your ridiculous name, you are incredible. You face insurmountable odds and triumph. You bring down a government with a single act of defiance. When I was a kid, I would have wanted to be you. When I have kids, I’ll want them to read your story. You are an inspiration.
And then there was Mockingjay. I always struggled with you as a character. You were just this side of likeable and then you crossed the line. You went to Crazytown, took up residence in a small condo on the River of Despair (the South Shore, just north of Utter Failure Town) and decided to become one with a drain pipe. It was terrible. I attach a file copy of my map of Crazytown*. This was recently commissioned by some good friends of mine because in life you never know how often you will need to take out your trusty map of Crazytown and let people know where they have gone when they leave the grid.
After railing against your mom for curling up in bed and neglecting you and your sister after the tragic death of your father, you essentially did the same thing. Only you curled up around a drain pipe. I have to say, with your fame (or infamy) I should have thought you could have found a better place to have a breakdown? However, I understand, you had been through a lot, there was that whole PTSD thing. Not the mention the fact that between the Capitol and District Thirteen everyone was looking for ways to use and exploit you. That does bring about a certain level of depression, granted. But what happened to your ‘leave no man behind’. What happened to protecting those who couldn’t protect themselves? What happened to Peeta? For that, Ms Everdeen, as a hero, you failed me.
Second, as a reader, I failed you. I expected you to be more than you are. You are a girl. A wounded, damaged, broken girl who was asked to take on something far too big for her. Something that you admitted many times you weren’t good at—let’s be honest Peeta was the brains, he was the man of words and you were the girl of action. You saved his life time and again in the arena and he saved yours on the stage. Together, you were a fantastic couple. Alone, you are both just a bit broken and sad. As a reader, I wanted you to be fantastic always. I wanted you to be a hero all the time. I didn’t want you to be a person, people are boring they have real problems. Heroes have adventures. People are complicated, they breakdown, they fall apart, many times they need someone to kick their arse out of bed (or out from the cupboard with the drainpipe) and into action. Heroes just do the right thing because they have no other choice. I wanted you to always do the right thing. I wanted more. For that, I’m sorry.
Because of Mockingjay I got to see you as a person. In the end it made the experience both frustrating and richer. I still wanted you to bitch-slap Gale after what went down with Prim. Honestly, that boy had it coming. But you didn’t. You lost yourself for a long time. I didn’t even get to see the process of you coming back to who you were, that was all rushed through in a sloppy epilogue. For that, I’m sorry. You had a rich adventure, both inside and outside of the arena. A story that I loved so much I’ve taken the time to write you this letter. I’m sorry I let you down as a reader.
Yours,
Genn xoxo
PS- How are the kids that you said you never wanted to have, but then did because Peeta talked you round (see, I told you man of words!) and Peeta?
*Map of Crazytown below for reference.
Genn: this was nailed to my door with an arrow. It was addressed to you.
ReplyDelete--
Dear Genn,
Thank you for your letter! It's good to hear from one of my readers. Yes, Mockingjay was dark times, but things have gotten better. It hurts some times to think about what happened in those dark days. It's even harder to think about my sister and my mother. We lost so much and there are times when rebuilding felt impossible, but we're getting there. I will admit that when I figured things out I almost went after Gale. Almost. Whatever other manipulations I had been through, his was the worst. He went for my weakest spot and broke me. Deliberately. He did it for what he thought was the right cause, but I can never really forgive him.
Peeta is a man of words. He's reminded me of a lot of things: love and life most particularly. It's one of those things that only someone who had been through what we've been through can understand, just how important those things are once they've been lost and how hard they are to get back. He's been my rock. An anchor. I don't know how I would be able to have gotten through it all without him. Still, he understands why I can't forgive. Why I can't forget.
My trip to Crazytown was regrettable, but I can tell you, I know in my heart the alternative was worse. I was trapped. I wanted to lash out. It was the drainpipe or mindlessly lashing out at innocents, taking action when I was more animal than human and possibly losing more lives -- mine included in the process. I'm not saying that it should be condoned, or that I'm proud of what happened, but it did and it's over now. I've done enough violence and madness. I've come back.
The children, I hope, will never have to be a part of what I went through. I'd like to think the worst of what I did insured it. They're beautiful -- they have Peeta's eyes and my hair. They've gotten so big. I didn't want to give them the world I lived in. Hopefully, they get a world that is so much better.
Anyway, I don't have much more time. I hope this letter finds you and I hope that you can understand. It means so much to me that you've written. I'll keep the map handy and try to avoid the tracks.
May the odds be ever in your favor,
Katniss.
...Gotta tell you, Genn. I agree with you, though. I still think she should have tried to find a way to escape and get Peeta out....
ReplyDelete::dies with an arrow to the eye::
Ah, yes. Shooting the messenger. ::ducks an arrow of her own::
ReplyDeleteStill should have gotten Peeta out sooner! As you told your mom, curling up is the easy way out! ::dodges another::
I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS.
ReplyDelete